All in the Family

First Congregational Church of Evanston, IL; August 13, 2006, 10^thSunday after Pentecost

II Samuel 18: 5-9, 15, 31-33 — Rev. Dr James E. Roghair

A Mother’s Lost Son

In one of the churches where I worked a few years ago, we had a wonderful church worker. She was always available to help in so many different areas of the church’s life. She was one we could always count on and who was trusted by her sisters and brothers in the church. But this woman carried a heavy burden. One of her sons was gay – that wasn’t the burden. The burden was that another of her sons had so turned his back on his brother and then the whole family, that the mother had not seen her son in 9 years. He was not living around the world or across the country, he was just avoiding his family.

It pained the mother. And so during the joys and concerns one Sunday morning it was a special joy for the whole church to hear that her missing son had finally returned. A time of reconciliation was begun.

David’s Lost Son

Perhaps you have had experiences in your own life, or you know of relatives or friends who have known the pain of estrangement. And so turning to the Scripture we can all understand some of what was going on for King David. We might wonder about his parenting skills, for such a family and political circumstance to develop, but things do develop.

And here we have it. David the King of Israel and Judah has a son who has so aspired to usurp his father’s throne that he is in open rebellion against his father. With thousands of Israelite men, too, who are ready and willing to back him. It is politics at its worst.

But David, continues to harbor the parent’s love for his son. And when it is reported to him – with some glee – that Absalom is dead. David does not rejoice for the political and military victory. David weeps for his lost son. The words seem to ring true down through the centuries: “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would that I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

David as a Model of Faith

David becomes more than a model of a parent in agony. He is that. And that is what we can immediately identify with. But David is also a head of state, and the model for the way a political leader may understand the people who are his/her enemies. They are more than a threat to his power. For David, this threat was still his son. He was still his flesh and blood.

For David the usual definitions of “us and them” didn’t hold up. For there was a unity of family that took precedence. Jesus might have been thinking about the story of David when many years later, Jesus expanded the way to think about neighbor and kin. Jesus quoted the old way of thinking – which offers good solid words to live by, when he said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy’.” There is clarity to this. Love the family – the “us” people, but not the “them” people. We can hate them.

But Jesus continues by saying, “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...” David had already modeled that. But David’s political and military people could not understand it. You just don’t show love for those who are your enemies! But David did. And David waled, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom!” And Jesus did. From the cross he said, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34)”

Loving Enemies

Loving enemies – it may be a distant and exotic thing to think about. We don’t live in the land of either David or Jesus. We live here and are a part of this church. What does all this enemy stuff mean to us? We have never gotten into anything remotely like David and Absalom’s dilemma.

But I am afraid a little of this drama can happen even in a fine church like this. People line up on one side against those on the other side. They line up for or against a program or a ministry or a person. They take sides. And churches’ side-taking can be vicious.

In one church where I served, someone had started an alternative worship service. It had a less formal liturgy and it had praise songs instead of hymns, and yes, they were projected on the wall instead of in a hymn book. And although the new praise service was small, it tended to attract new people into the church.

But instead of seeing each other as brothers and sisters in faith – members of one church – the worshipers at the two services saw themselves as members of two competing congregations. And the rivalry was vicious. Well there was interim pastoral work to do in that congregation – not to close down one of the worship services, but to help them see that they were not enemies or even in competition with one another. But they were brothers and sisters in faith.

Divisions at First Congregational?

Are there any polarities in First Congregational Church of Evanston? I look out and see you on a Sunday morning, and I don’t see any funny hats that tell me some of you are a part of the red team and some, a part of the green team. You all look to me like brothers and sisters in Christ. But as I get to know you, you may tell me that there are divisions. And you can see them very clearly. How do you see the divisions?

Unless you and I can demonstrate our oneness in Christ, how will we ever be able to share the gospel with the rest of the world – to let them know that Jesus Christ offers us a new way of life?

Polarities in Society

We live in a society that is deeply polarized. And I believe that we followers of Jesus are called to be a part of the solution – not part of the problem. I wonder if there ever was a time that the sides taken in society were more divided than they are right now. There are so many things that seem to be symptoms of that polarity. The inevitable discussions about human sexuality – all the way from hate crimes against gays and lesbians to the questions of gay marriage to the questions of ordained gay leadership in the church. There are the questions about abortion and how it will be regulated, and charges of murder, and questions of who gets to decide. We have witnessed a great polarization about the courts of our land, and about the war in Iraq, and about how we will be America in the world.

Polarizations are not new, but the way they work out continue to evolve. I know that some of you are old enough to remember the polarizations of the 1960's. and those who are older will remember them differently than those of us who just coming of age at that time.

Older Polarities

I remember the fear that some of my friends had about driving their Volkswagen – perhaps the one that looked a little like a hippie wagon – into a small town in the West. They were afraid that they might not be allowed to buy gas – or they might be arrested

for a broken tail light, or just because they didn’t like your looks. Their hair was too long or they had too much of a beard or something like that. It was an interesting time to grow up.

During that time, the Viet Nam war time, I was young – immature – and I was a part of the polarization, too. But I was studying for ministry. I thought that Jesus was saying something to our polarities. But I was also fairly cynical of the world I was living in – like a lot of my generation was.

Over and over I was filled with rage at the insanity of war. I saw the importance of brotherhood. Now, I would be sure to add sisterhood, as well. (But it was 1966, after all.) I want to read you a poem to you I wrote when I was 23 years old – it was May 17, 1966. I have not changed it, but will read it just as I found it in an old notebook.

Some of you might remember what the news reports were like – might remember the body counts that were common on the nightly news. It was done with a certain clarity about who the enemy was. Here is my poem. I don’t ask you to like it, just remember it as the thoughts of a 23 year old student:

May 17, 1966

I killed one hundred communists today.

Communists, communists, communists.

The world is one hundred safer tonight.

One hundred communists are dead.

How many men?

They were communists!

Did they think or feel?

Could they love or hate?

They were communists.

Communists, communists, communists!

Had they homes or families?

Had they hopes or fears?

They were communists.

Had their life any purpose?

Had their future any hope?

They were communists.

They were communists!

I kill rabbits for sport.

I kill snakes for safety.

Today I killed communists...

(Even Jesus would not love everyone.)

Kill communists!

Kill pestilents,

Kill rats,

Kill dogs (but only if they are mad).

Kill, kill, kill!

A communist is a communist.

Only men are men.

I could not kill men.

I must kill communists.

Hold fast to that which is good,

But hate that which is evil.

Obeying I hate.

I hate no man–

I love all men.

Only communists I hate.

I killed no men.

Sleep well, America,

I killed one hundred communists today.

In 1966 we saw communists as our enemies. It was difficult then to see in Viet Nam human beings with whom we disagreed. Rather the Viet Cong were a part of a great menace that had to be obliterated – one body at a time. And by calling them “communists” – we were taught to avoid thinking of them as human beings.

Newer Polarities

I am too old to go back 40 years and rewrite this poem, but one could almost insert the word terrorist today, and it would read about the same. Or you could insert Hezbullah, or Hamas or Taliban, or Al-Qaeda If you were thinking from a Palestinian perspective you might insert Israeli. Or in Iraq you one side might insert Sunni and or Shiite. We always have words that help shield us from the utter horror of human inhumanity against one another. Words like “enemy combatant” help us, too.

To exploit the differences – it is the way we human beings act – especially when we are in power. David’s military and political followers were so proud of their accomplishments. They had made Absalom a statistic in the battle against the King’s enemies. They were proud to tell David that he was dead. But David, the father, was filled with love even for his wayward son. But even David could not protect that son from politics of the polarization.

Jesus’ Builds on David

Years later, Jesus seems to build on what David learned. Jesus sets a new standard. Jesus would have wept with David. My son, my son, my brotyh4er, my sister, my cousin. Hear again Jesus’ words from the Sermon on the Mount:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.(Matthew 5:43-46)

In the world we live in, there may be enemies. Are they the people whose view of religion and faith may be vastly different from ours? Are they people whose view of the work and mission of this very church makes them seem alien to us? Jesus has taken all enemies – no matter where they are – no matter who they are, and Jesus has commanded us to love them. They are no longer to be aliens to us, but they are now brothers and sisters for whom Christ died.

I invite you to live in the power of that challenge. Amen.